Loss is part of normal life, and something we often accommodate unconsciously through a natural process of adjustment. However, some losses take more conscious effort to accept, and an individual’s resilience is important in these cases, as it is this that will make the effort successful, or not. At the same time, what one person considers a devastating loss, may have much less impact on another. Everything depends upon how much ambition or love a person has for the person or thing which has been or is gradually being lost. And depending upon that degree of attachment to the loss, a whole range of emotions can be felt.

Some examples are:

• Loss of schoolfriends as forms are switched at the end of an academic year in school: possible outcomes – separation anxiety, fear of having to make new friends, nightmares, psychosomatic effects causing absence from school …
• Loss of opportunity to study at a preferred place through examination disappointment: possible outcomes – depressed mood, shame, fear of uncertainty, damaged self-esteem, low confidence, self-harm, identity crisis …
• Loss of opportunity to study at a preferred place through no fault of one’s own (administrative blunder): possible outcomes, anger, feelings of deprivation, jealousy, rejection, resentment, self-pity, depressed mood, self-harm …
• Loss of appropriate parenting as a child, young adult: possible outcomes – feelings of abandonment, isolation from ‘normal’ society, confusion, resentment, uncertainty …
• Loss of a friendship/romantic relationship as a young adult: possible outcomes – confusion, self-doubt, self-pity, self-loathing, sexual shame, social withdrawal, belief in an inability to make/sustain subsequent relationships, depressed mood, promiscuity, irrational conclusions, self-harm …
• Loss of a loved one in an accident or through pandemic: possible outcomes – shock, trauma, survivor guilt, self-harm, profound sadness, existential crisis, identity crisis …
• Loss of long-term partner: possible outcomes – profound sadness, loneliness, existential crisis, identity crisis, feelings of being defeated, suicidal ideation …
• Loss of loved one after a long illness: possible outcomes – crisis of religious faith, role confusion (maybe loss of carer role), pity, sadness, loneliness, anger at authority …
• Loss of future through redundancy, lack of promotion, personal illness and disability, etc: possible outcomes: anxiety, depression, self-doubt, lack of confidence, anger, jealousy, paranoia, relationship difficulties … 

These are just some examples both of loss, and the emotional outcomes. In addition to these negative outcomes, there are often extremely favourable ones as individuals come to find meaning in their lives after contemplating how their life challenges have enhanced their resilience and motivate their forward movement and recovery.

There are several psychological, and socio-psychological theories that can help to explain how people experience loss, and as a social psychologist, and psychotherapist, I draw on these, together with other behavioural techniques. Typically, I work with bereaved clients over a period of twelve weekly sessions, whereas other forms of loss can usually be managed in six to eight sessions, and in some cases with children and young adults, in single session therapy.